Accepting external criticism

In the You might be surprised if you give them a chance post I referenced an email I received from a coach who visited the site. This was a coach who worked in a disadvantaged area. That post could potentially be interpreted as picking on that individual, so I sent them an email to make sure they knew I wasn’t specifically singling them out. Rather, the post was the result of a couple of different things coming together. The reply I got was the sort I think we all should have when presented with something potentially critical of our coaching.

Thanks for the warning!!!  I may indeed have responded defensively if you hadn’t!  Maybe not as I have a sense of where you are coming from – but better safe than lose someone!

And I agree with you!  So many of the problems we face are direct result of low expectations of girls from parents, school, and community.  And it is huge.  I need to be ultra vigilant of my own expectations and message!  I hear “Can’t” as “Won’t try” or “Never’.  They need to hear me believe that they are capable of getting better every day.  While I could say that what I really meant was we don’t do some higher leverage things well enough yet – what I said was “Can’t”.  At some level that reflects a letdown in my own values.  I will keep working on it!

This has unlocked a flood of thoughts about clarifying my philosophy, priorities and approach to the program.  You have shown me that I am holding us back by not introducing that philosophy of play from the first time they walk through the door.  Or earlier!

Far from being angry – I am very grateful for you pushing the right button!!

This sort of thing is exactly why I developed the blog and enjoy writing it. Hopefully someone like the coach I kind of picked on in this post has a similar type of reaction! 🙂

The point is, criticism can be extremely valuable to us all – at least the constructive kind. Not only should we be accepting of it, we should even consider actively seeking it out.

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John Forman

John is currently the Strategic Manager for Talent (oversees the national teams) and Indoor Performance Director for Volleyball England. His 20+ years of volleyball coaching experience includes all three NCAA divisions, plus Junior College, in the US; university and club teams in the UK; professional coaching in Sweden; and both coaching and club management at the Juniors level. He's also been a visiting coach at national team, professional club, and juniors programs in several countries.

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